Tag Archives: Jack Johnson

writing and my weakness

29 Aug

This blog will be rambly and will probably make no sense whatsoever.

“I get nervous when I fly, I’m used to walking with my feet.”
– “Go On”  Jack Johnson

All I’ve been wanting to do lately is write. Poetry or prose, I have no preference and my fingers seem to itch for the quiet comfort of both. But every time I take a pen out and press it to the fresh cream page of my little poetry book with it’s precious few pages that are stained with ink, I seem to freeze up. Nothing will come out, and if something does it’s terrible, awful and must be ripped out at once. Or my pen will have a bent tip, or be the wrong color ink or will smear all over the page and ruin the poem. Whenever I attempt prose, I fumble with the keys that are so sure beneath my fingers when tweeting or going on facebook. But it seems when my heart is on the line, my sanity is in slight jeopardy and my self-esteem is out there, low and vulnerable, I can’t quite grasp the “typing” thing and it seems as if every word is wrong. Phrases are wrongly put, sentences aren’t structured well, there is no story in it at all, the entire paragraph reads like one long boring cliche and so on.
My blogs are even troublesome. I can’t put my visit to Kenyon College in more than bite-sized words. I keep worrying that I will screw up that amazing trip and that amazing day if I write one crappy blog post about it. My blog about Oberlin was simple, and I think it was even semi-good, but I wasn’t so genuinely attached to that college, that trip, that day. I wasn’t concerned on screwing it up too severely.
Another thing I hate to admit is that I have this tendency. This awful, heart wrenching tendency to not be able to stay motivated or believe in myself. Other people keeping tabs on what I do keeps me motivated. Those six or seven of you that read this regularly are the ones that keep me going because it just shows that yeah, maybe someone somewhere out there cares what I have to say or whine about. The reason I love genuine compliments on my poetry is because I feel like if someone else likes it, then I have a reason to keep going. It’s one of my worst weaknesses, and therefore one the most powerful ones, but I need others to believe in me in order to believe in myself. I’ve never quit anything, even the times where I would have absolutely no attention to anything I poured my heart and soul into. When I posted things on fictionpress, I would get one review in a blue moon. My best friend at the time started and she got 2+ reviews a day. It took me weeks to get that much attention on stories. When I started blogging, I had maybe one – three hits a month. Things like twitter and tumblr don’t effect me as strongly, because I’m not putting things out there that I want feedback on, I’m not putting effort into those things, I’m not putting the most important parts of me in those things.



old lady nail polish, my friend is a princess and my secret desire to open a coffee shop

16 Mar

(notice what i did there? ^ The picture doubles as a quote. lyrics from Breakdown by Jack Johnson)

Hello my lovely lady lumps.

Today has been a very good day and since last night/this morning I have been in the mood to blog. Maybe I’m trying to prepare for BEDA, but I actually feel like I have a bit to talk about. So, time to explain the title of this blog. A. I have a pretty taupeish-pink color nail polish that my friend addressed as “old lady nail polish”. Whatever, I like it. B. That same friend put a beaded necklace around her head and when asked why she said she was wearing a necklace on her head she answered, “because it makes me look like a princess.” Not all of my friends are dumb, I swear. (XD i luff you steph). C. If you follow me on twitter (which you so should), you would know that I have recently become addicted to the Canadian drama Being Erica, which you can find on Hulu and in the second season of the show there is a coffee shop called Goblins with an awesome sign that I could not find online. And I want to rip the show off and open up a coffee bar called Goblins.
More about Being Erica, the title makes the show sound deliriously stupid, which it is not. The show follows Erica Strange, a thirty-two year old woman falling into dead-end jobs and bad relationships. Her rationale? Bad choices, bad decisions. Solution? Therapy. Not your average therapy, no. Therapy that involves time travel, fixing your regrets and magic. The fact that the Erica is a quick tongued, witty and gorgeous girl is only one good part of the show. Her Lorelai Gilmore-like personality and charm adds into the fact that traveling into her past gives her a hell of a lot more dimensions. The only downside to this, is that the other characters in the show go slightly undeveloped, while Erica is a three-dimensional, average person who happens to travel through time. I just finished the second season (literally like less than ten minutes ago. I came back to writing this blog after I finished. SO GOOD). I am really looking forward to the *possible* third season.
Okay, moving on to make it seem like I don’t just sit around watching shows on the Internet, I will talk briefly about my schoolwork. I have a project for a class due Thursday, a rough draft of an essay due Thursday and I have done about no work. I couldn’t work on the project because I don’t have the passwords for my school’s account for the databases I’m allowed to use (in other words, Wikipedia is NOT okay) and my outline for the essay has not been approved. But anyways, the creative component of the project is going to turn out really well because it involves a video and the use of some AWESOME music. I mean, I’m using Marauders’ Map by Ministry of Magic, how awesome is that? ANSWER: VERY.

Books read this year: 7
Lisztomania by Pheonix and Better Together by Jack Johnson