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pompous snowmen and snowless snow days

3 Feb

“I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.”

– Charlotte Bronte

Well, hello hello! Instead of dwelling on the fact that I have not posted a blog in forever and ever and ever, I am just going to dwell on the things that I find fascinating and important that you, uh, probably don’t.

So, I have been up to MULTITUDES of FANTASTICAL and EXOTIC things in the past few months, weeks, days and hours. Well… maybe I’m exaggerating a little. Or a lot. Or a whole lot. But no matter, because I do have a few things worth mentioning. One being my SUPER DUPER not incredibly successful life in the world of Debate. Yes, this lovely specimen whose life you read about and care so dearly about has begun debating competitively with her school’s forensics team. I am involved in the Lincoln- Douglas debate category and am now an Official Member of the National Forensics League, or the NFL for the People in the Know. I’m not great but I’m not horrible and every tournament is a learning experience and I get a sick rush every time I know I have kicked someone’s ass.
Other than debate and debate and more debate, I have been reading quite a bit more. I recently finished Anna and the French Kiss by (nerdfighter!) Stephanie Perkins, where part of the title of this blog post comes from. I though the book was good, due to how the ending turned out and the writing was sweet and clever. The book started out slow and I thought that the character was a bit stupid, but once you get into the book more and start to become engrossed with the romance and the relationships surrounding each character, it is absolutely fantastic. I also just finished Chuck Palahniuk’s Invisible Monsters, which, to be honest, I was disappointed with. I was told by multiple Palahniuk fans that it was his best work, and it was fantastic, but I think I might have liked Snuff more, but I plan on rereading it eventually, so we’ll see if that changes my thoughts on it. I’m going to begin Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro tomorrow, because I’ve heard fantastic things about both the novel and film.
Aside from debate and reading, I have been tumbling obsessively, arguing with people on tumblr, pissing off my close friends and just generally fucking up greatly. I think I’m going to begin blogging more, to let off steam or what have you. I think I’m going to start going out more, whether it’s alone or with others, because I need fresh air. I need to see things other than the four blue walls of my room. I need different noises and sounds and things to experience. I’m going stir crazy and I’m lonely all the time and I’m bored and I’m aggressive and mean and impulsive with people I care about. I need help more than anything, I need someone to talk to and I need to get out more. But right now what I need to do is brush my teeth and go to bed. Goodnight, lovelies. I’ll see you soon.


p.s. I had a snow day today and we didn’t get ANY snow at all. Twas wonderful.


the irony of me loving weddings

8 Aug

~ By Margery Williams ~

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

I went to a wedding yesterday. My second mother and my dad’s best friend since high school were hosting their son’s wedding. Now, I’m going to just throw out there that these people have a pig roast and Christmas party every year and they know how to throw a party, but this wedding blew my mind. The only other weddings I’ve been to were my brothers’, and those I was either too young or too easily forgotten to enjoy, so I have grown up with a bitter hatred for weddings (my hatred for matrimony and “endless love “[not just the song] also added to that, but I digress). The ceremony was short (thank goodness), not religious (phew) and it contained this lovely reading from one of my favorite books as a child, The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams (the reading is the block quote at the beginning of the blog). Then, in a field behind their house which used to be overgrown and filled with all sorts of clutter, was now a clean and well kept grassy field surrounded by trees and smelling faintly of pine, empty, save for a shed and a large tent. This tent was (thankfully) not like the tent I suffer work under, but  instead of covering tacky plastic tables and screaming pre-pubescent boys, it sheltered pretty tables draped with tablecloths and topped with glasses and pretty centerpieces, all while protecting the well-dressed guests from the bugs and wind outside.
Because the groom’s mother is my second mommy, and a genius, she put me at a table away from my parents with people who had graduated with degrees in graphic arts, history, or people majoring in Japanese. I only talked to the latter of the group at length, considering she was sitting right next to me. The Japanese major, who’s name is Sarah (or Sara. I’ll just alternate spellings). She was AWESOME. We talked a lot about random things, then moved onto the basics, i.e, movies, television and books. So, while on the subject of television, she asked me what kind of shows I watch and I immediately admitted “I cannot tell you what shows I watch, considering they are highly embarrassing.”, so she asked, “Like, childish embarrassing?” to which I answered, “No. Teeny shows. Like the ones on the CW.”
This carried onto her connecting the CW to The Vampire Diaries, which she apparently wanted to see, and then carried over to her watching True Blood, and then back to how The Vampire Diaries was almost exactly like Twilight, but it doesn’t suck (my opinion). So then I went onto putting forth a neutralish view on Twilight, in case she was a fan, and then she just flat out said that they sucked. I then laughed and said, that yes, they are indeed awful, but it reassures me that if I ever do decide I want to publish a book, I know that I might have a chance, provided that piece of crap was published. She laughed and then reached for her phone while saying “Have you seen ‘Alex reads Twilight’?” To which I burst out laughing, and then explained, in bits and pieces, parts of Nerdfighteria.
Anyways, the food (lobster and drawn butter and delicious cupcakes. yum) was fabulous and I do not just say this because I was across the tent from my parents and at a table with people who thought I was legal, and therefore they constantly kept filling my glass with yummy champagne. The 80s cover band was absolutely fantastic and kept everyone dancing and singing, not to mention these people there were just plain fun. There were no fights, no drunken messes, no problems and it was perfect. I know I don’t want to get married, and maybe this will change, but I highly doubt it. I can’t picture myself being with someone forever, but I love weddings. I love the idea that two people can be happy and in love enough to take such a monumental step. I love the idea that maybe my friends in the next five or so years will all be getting married. And I hope I can be there for it, because it’s one of those carefree and happy experiences that I savor. Also, free champagne is a real plus.


photo credit: Andrew Morrell

Day 17- Someone from your childhood

17 Jul

Dear Jacob,

Due to the power of the beautiful Facebook, I do know little snippets of what you are up to. First, since I moved, you have become the biggest man-whore EVER. I thought you should know, and I feel the need to address this because me, you know, Ms. Goody Two Shoes, is incredibly uncomfortable with it. Just kidding. But seriously, EVERY new profile picture of yours is with another beautiful girl, which, of course, does not surprise me by any means, but it’s funny how quickly things change. We went from breaking into the church playground (and the church itself, might I add) to you being a slutface and me being a, uh, not-so goody goody. I do remember, when we were much younger, swimming in the pool with Jesse, prior to his attempt at kissing me (yeah, uh, about that… you know now… after about 7 years. lolz). Also, our constant little schemes or attempts at being little badasses, like the aforementioned church breaking-in. Or when we would sit up on the red steel staircase, hidden from my house and yours, right above the road below, where you, Jesse and I would talk, or eat ice cream during the summer, or, after Jesse ran away (tail between his legs, might I add), you and I shouting “DON’T MOAN, CALL JOAN!” at cars.
Or one day, walking home from the bus stop, when you threw a CD at a passing car, and it hit a van, where we immediately broke into a run, like bandits, even though nothing was going to happen. Christ, you were around for EVERYTHING. You were more present in my life than my own brother. Hell, you are my brother, or at least you used to be. It sucks that after growing up together our entire lives, we lose contact because of three measly hours between us. I’m not saying this bother me like hell, but it does. I do indeed miss you, and maybe when I come to Connecticut this summer, we’ll go to Lake Compounce and cause some trouble… because isn’t that what we do now? 😉


Day 16- someone that’s not in your state/country

16 Jul

Dear Thom,

I would like to take this time to address the fact that you are my favorite ex-husband and number one sassy gay friend. I would also like to address that you are my go-to person for advice, a shoulder to cry on, or someone to bitch with/at. You tolerate my incessant whining and my inability to stay on topic or tell an abridged version of a story, and you always seem to have the right thing to say at the right time. To be completely honest, I have never had anyone like that in my life before; my best friend has always been to invested in her own life and her own problems, my other friends were never close enough to help me out, nor did I want them to be, and… well, you know how my relationships with guys work out.
Another thing, without you, my direct messages inbox/outbox on Twitter would be mostly empty/ no where NEAR as exciting as it is now. Our little conversations about some crazy girls and some asshole guys or some weirdly short coworkers or… you know. We talk about lots. People are so jealous we are so freakin AWESOME, not to mention they wish they could have conversations as awesome and intellectually stimulating as ours (that sounded intelligent, right?). I REALLY hope that when I go to Ohio in a few weeks (date pending) that we will be able to hang out, because that will, of course, be almost too awesome (not to mention HOT) to handle.

I love you dearly,